Tue 24 Apr 2007
Legitimate news source the ONION reported today in their “National News Highlights” Features section today:
PENDLETON, OR—Calamity was narrowly averted when Dairy Queen employee Adam Petkun heroically extinguished a grease fire with the icy flavor-avalanche of the new Wild Berry Blizzard.
We couldn’t be prouder of Adam! That Salem to Pendleton commute must be rough, but hey, people need their Blizzards!
See more about what Adam does HERE when not putting out fires with milkshakes.

April 24th, 2007 at 11:41 am
where is my visor!?!
April 24th, 2007 at 11:53 am
It may have slipped your mind, but your visor was damaged beyond repair in the grease fire.
April 24th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Adam, you can volunteer to fight a fire or lobby to require that the grease be kept fireless…
and if you were on fire while lobbying, it would definitely have a more emotional appeal.
April 25th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Does he dispense any butter alongside that delicious softserve?
April 30th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
“That’s right I said butterless”
“Why do I tell that story? Mainly cause I like it.”